Dear Man: I Need You...

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I once shared with man that I do not need him...that I only wanted him.

Now, I must eat my words.

For I need you, man, I most certainly do.

I need to need you - without feeling guilty of that need.

I need to need you, and to learn how to not suffocate myself or you with that need.

For my Soul needs the depth that you provide in the clarity, through your simplicity.  The Sweet Dance of light and dark that is you - your rough and firm yet soft and velvety parts...depth in the Light, bliss in the mystery.

See, I have become really accustomed to holding my Self in the depths of mystery...

I can reduce myself to a puddle of mush in the Dance, in the Bedroom.  I trust my Self to hold my self, to titrate just the right amount of my experiences so that I can resurrect myself when the time is needed.

I trust my Self to hold my Center when in dealing with the masses or the crowds, with the Boardroom - with the men that advance and the questions that come my way.

I trust my Self to hold the mysteries being awoken in me, knowing they have no need to be spoken.

Yet, to let another into this space, the Holy of Holies?  To let One in that is so opposite to me in all of the ways?

An excerpt of an artwork by Miles Toland found here.

I have yet to experience this experience...and I desperately deeply want to have this experience of trusting ~ of surrendering to the gift of your hands, body, tongue.  To your heat, passion, guidance, depth and Soul in this space with me.

This is where I need you.

I need you to hear my call, my invitation into the work - and to step up to the challenge.

I need to know we can do this work together...

...because I NEED you to be able to experience the depths that I have to share with you.

...because I need to know how much further we can go together.

...because I need to share this with someone, and I want that someone to be you.

...because I need to experience myself through your body, through your experience.

...because I need you to experience yourself through my body, through my experience.

...because I need to grow, evolve - and you do too.

...because I know I can do this alone - but it would be so much more fun with you!


I need you to show up in your truth and authenticity AND in your fears, your ego, your boyish needs....

...because I need to know that I can hold space for you as you have held space for me.

....because I need to know I can hear you and make myself feel safe for you too.

....because I need to know I can ask for AND HOLD OUT FOR what I know I need from you before allowing you into this space within me, this most Holy of Holy sanctuaries.

....because I need to know I can wait for the Man in you to show up - and not let the boy in your ruin our fun or destroy your Manhood.

Android Jones - Harmony of Dragons

...because I need to know how and when to let my walls down, how to stay safe and take ownership of that experience.

I need to know that you are truly trustworthy, SHOWING not telling me, what I will need from you if I release this Power in your Presence, into your Presence.

...because I need to know I can trust myself to not be swayed by an empty promise of safety and protection~ or swayed by charm, charisma or the power between our legs for momentary pleasure. I need something way beyond this world.

I need to experience that you can hold to YOUR CENTER, to your Presence when the power of the Storm within me is unleashed for your witness, for your enjoyment, for your pleasure.

Channel Baran

I NEED to experience you stepping up to the plate with all that you have, the imperfections and all,  and know you can titrate your own experiences, coming back home when the time is needed.

...because I NEED to know that if I unleash this Inner Mystery to you - that you won't loose yourself in Her, curl up in a ball, call me crazy
and/or blame me for your lack of ability to hold your Center.

I NEED TO FEEL you in your Center at all times if we are to go this deep, so I can fully open and fully share what lies between these lips.

I NEED to experience what it is like to be opened and penetrated by you, so deep that it breaks down the chained door in my own heart of hearts, causing tidal waves to ripple my body - opening, opening, OPENING the doors to the Mysteries within.

I NEED to experience what it is like to open and penetrate your heart so deeply with the Love Energy that resides in me, holding you in my strong arms when you break down weeping for the Love you never knew possible but was always available...nurturing you in a way only I can do for you.

I NEED to experience that you can hold the mysteries within without speaking a word - but exchanged a million times over in your eyes...and in the energy between us, within us - beyond us.

I NEED you to take responsibility for yourself.  For all of it: for your depth, your mystery, your shadow, your shallowness, your greatness, your motives, your joys, your creations, your learning lessons...your Power, your excuses, your hiding - for all of it.

I NEED you to take your Center and act from there.  And to move back there when you falter.

I Need you to demand your Spirit to stay front and center - because I doubt you will want to miss this experience.

I NEED TO EXPERIENCE THIS EXPERIENCE WITH YOU so that in your humble entrance into my Sanctuary, so with your culminating thrust of intention - you can help wash away the last thousands of years of nightmares we have bestowed on each other while Seeding a New Dawn of Human Creation in Me.

Ralf  Schuetz / Mushroom Dreams | “Defiant”

And I need you to need me too...for this and the opposite of all this that you, Man, are.  Not just because you have some fancy to grow, to evolve - but because you have a deep seeded NEED to evolve.  Or perhaps just because you have a need to experience what I have offered here.

In any case, Man, I hope you will do the work I need you to do.

For me.

Okay - really most of all for you - please, with ME as the cherry on top if you must have that motivation.

Here's to the Mystery.

Here's to the need for Mystery.

Here's to the Power of the Mystery.

Aho, Amen, Om and Fuck yes.

White Owl Woman, GaiaFly