While I hesitate to be this truthful, to let you see inside of me this deeply ~ I need to share again of a need I have of you.
While the little girl in me is screaming for me to not have this be made known to you ~ cause she wants to ALWAYS get her way ~ the woman I AM needs to communicate this:
It is downright SEXY AS ALL HELL when you share your NO with me.
Why?
Let me see if I can share this in words that which feels so far from words.
I need to hear your humble energetic NO...
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| Jalaja Bonheim |
...because it allows me to know where I end and you begin. It allows me to feel the Masculine Banks of the River so I can continue to flow in Feminine Flow of the Water.
...because your No gives me a sense of landing, a sense of coordinates on where I am in relation to you in this invisible world we live in.
....because it forces me back into ME, into my own journey, my own work, my own Power Source~ not allowing me to smoother you in my own unhealthy neediness to rescue, save or take care of you from a motherly role.
....because it allows me to feel where you are at this point in time.
...because it lets me feel your STRENGTH ~ your SEXY, BOLD yet MOLDABLE strength of your energetic nature through your physical nature.
I need to hear your NO coming from the Center of your Being...
....because it shows both the girl and the woman in me that you won't be overcome by the deep Feminine Chaos that is within me, that you won't succumb to momentarily pleas of the physical world that seek to control or manipulate you - that you won't play the victim.
...because, while my little girl wants desperately to get her way, it also allows her to know she is safe in your presence...
...because your No shows me that you are not acting from a needy little boy space...but from the Core of your Manhood.
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...because it shows me that in the Core of your Manhood ~ you are not weak, tossed by the Waves and blown around by the Wind. Oh no, this is not you, for you are oh so very strong in the face of the Feminine Furry.
All of this allows the woman in me to relax, to soften, to trust you and to start unfolding the tightness in my own body towards the light of your masculine gifts.
I need to hear the NO coming from your Root, from the depths of who you are...
...because it allows me to know that you are not pursuing me in an unhealthy need of your own...a need that will suffocate me and in turn you.
...because I need to know that you are not disappearing into pleasing me, the Feminine, so desperately that you lose your own Core, your own Center, your own Self just so that you can have me - the face of the Feminine - make you feel like a man...when in reality you are just getting your little boy needs for affection, affirmation and approval met.
...because I need to know you don't need me for this motherly approval. I do not want to be your mother...
....because I need to know that we aren't interacting as a boy and girl, or mother and son, or father and daughter...
...but rather that we are interacting as adults, as lovers, as mates to our souls. I need to know I can offer you my affirmation, my approval, my affection to you as a woman to a man.
I need to hear your honest to God NO...
...because it allows me to know that I cannot control you, no matter how much I plead, beg or use my feminine ways......because this allows me to trust you in that Tantric space I desire to go with you - a space where I NEED TO KNOW IN MY BEING that you will not cave to the FEMININE CHAOS that I am - giving you room to blame me for your lack of Center, your lack of No...
...because I need to know that you ~ knowing your Center, knowing your No ~ can navigate the darkness, the chaos, the furry and bring the gift of your PENETRATING PRESENCE to Light the dark pregnant void that is within me, that is me...to hold me in that space that is you...to take me into the Cosmos, into the Stillness, into the eternity that resides in you.
I need to hear your truthful No in all humility and ownership...
...because it makes me feel the polar opposites that we are...which draws me in more...
....because it makes me respect the Man that you are.
...and because it makes me want and need you even more...
It is downright SEXY AS ALL HELL when you share your NO with me.
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| Hombre Nuevo by Ileana Cerato |
